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To be frank from my personal experience, I believe profoundly that you live longer subjectively when you’re not working. To be precise, when you’re not working and not sitting at home playing on the computer, or watching TV or sitting about thinking how good it is that you’re not working. Even more precisely, when you’re travelling or engaged in something that you haven’t done before.

Here’s the deal.

You remember when you were young, and the summer holidays felt like they lasted for months and months. That’s because when you’re young, some much is new, so subjectively time passes more slowly because you’re experiencing new things.

As we get older life becomes routine, we’ve experienced everything in our own mundane sphere of experience and so, subjectively, time speeds up. When you’re working, life becomes about the next month’s pay day, so not just days flash by but months and years do too, after all, there’s only 12 months in a whole year of our working lives, only 12 paydays. Time speeds up, purely because of routine and lack of new experience. We’re not making new memories anymore unless something major happens and that’s rare. We perceive our lives based on our memories. No new memories, no personal perception of longevity of existence.

I heard long ago that if you try to have a new experience every year, you will feel like you live longer.

I took that to heart and it’s true.

Which brings me to traveling? If you travel, you’re a five year old again, seeing everything as new and fresh, with untold opportunities to gain new memories, and so, perceive your life as being longer.

It’s important to make new memories.


Listen, most people are fine, some are great, but they’re not the ones who piss you off. I have lived in rented accommodation for all my adult life and I came to the conclusion early that people in the UK, especially family life, is populated by women who swear at their children and men who rant and swear like rabid eunuchs. And for what? Their kids have made a mess – THAT’S WHAT KIDS DO YOU FUCKERS! Or their dinner isn’t ready – DO IT YOUR FUCKING SELF YOU LAZY SODDING RETARD!!

Everything is everyone else’s fault nowadays.

NOTE – The reason theyre called YOUR problems, is because THEY ARE YOUR PROBLEMS! You solve them, and you’ll be suprised how satisfying it makes you feel.

And the development of the nanny-state is fully to blame. We have so many rules, made by other people that we are no longer accountable for anything, because everything we do has guidelines and protocols and rules saying how to do this or that, leaving things like personal choice and accountability obsolete. The only choice is whether or not to break the rules, which of course you’re not supposed to do. To make a choice is risking being found guilty of something. So ultimately, it’s better to simply not make choices. Blame other people!

Psychology has a description of basic human survival techniques. The 3 F’s – Fight, flight or freeze. In many cases, Western society is also governed by these rules. The only problem is that it seems to have chosen the Freeze one. Its safer to just play possum, to not move in the face of all the crap we have to deal with, including the breakdown of aforementioned Western society. The really fun part is when it goes Fight or Flight.

Being in mental health nursing you tend to see the worst examples of such personalities, but sadly, they are becoming more and more apparent.

You know, long ago, I used to think that British societies answer to the useless, pointless or criminal elements by shipping them off en massto Australia, was a cruel thing to do, but over the years, I now see it as making perfect sense. Nothing better than a bit of  deportation and indentured servitude or a long holiday courtesy of Van Dieman’s Land to give someone a sense of purpose in life.

Its not a new idea fair enough, but John Carpenter liked it so much that he may have actually seen the future, he just got the date wrong.

Make them find a purpose, if only to stay alive. Make them have to answer to themselves.

Human beings in these situations tend to shine, to find purpose and a goal and become something so much better, when faced with adversity. So much more than whining, useless wastes of oxygen, going through their lives thinking the world owes them something (which it doesn’t btw), contributing nothing except a walking funnel into which we pour our time, patience, resources and ultimately our souls, when we could be doing something a bloody sight more productive, for people who don’t have the advantages we have, and certainly don’t sit about bitching that its someone elses fault.

Let people have comfort and they become lazy, moaning bastards who like greedy infants just want more and more and cry when they don’t get it. Everything becomes someone else’s fault. It’s your fault I haven’t got a job. It’s your fault I’m drunk or stoned 24hrs a day. It’s your fault I’m hungry, it’s your fault my 72” plasma screen TV isn’t big enough.

Sadly, we don’t have Australia anymore. But there’s always the Moon?

Besides, British society is constantly taking a turn for the worst, because it’s so comfortable. We had a gang related stabbing outside an off license in my home town last week. What the fuck! And half the people arrested are under 20 yrs old…ones 15! This speaks volumes.

In this particular case, the papers were keen to point out that the young man who died (aged 21) from the stab wound was a father, with another child on the way. But he was still outside a booze shop late at night and still a member of one of the opposing groups, so he really wasn’t thinking about either his future, his girl friend or his children now was he?

I don’t mean to sound harsh, I just feel the same way Bill Hicks felt about the two kids who listened to Judas Priest and then went out and killed themselves.

On the topic of crime, social decay and generally fucked up behaviour, I personally think we just need more vigilantes. A few single minded, coldly rational, consistently commited Charles Bronsons, Travis Bickles, Punishers or even Rorschach. People with a purpose. Yes I firmly support the cold blooded serial culling of the worthless and violent members of our society who pray on the weak, the fearful, the vulnerable or just the poor bastard whose simply trying to make the best of his life and finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. In the words of Joseph Conrad, “The Horror…The Horror…Exterminate all the brutes.”  

The Food

Now I like British food. I mean the stuff you actually cook, not the artery garroting crap you can buy in takeaways…the only exception being fish and chips, because they are always better than anything you can cook yourself. To me, the great English Breakfast, despite its terminal health content (no you can’t cook it healthily!) is a cornerstone of food as a whole.

But now, everything’s supermarket mass produced shite. Eating organically is something only rich people can afford, when actually it should be cheaper. In fact, super markets should be MADE to sell organic produce cheaper than the other crap. It might encourage the growth of organic farms, rather than them being seen as oddities. But then again, the human food problem is a wide spread thing, lurching across the whole of so called civilized Western society and has nothing to do with choice…otherwise I could choose to eat organically, which I can’t.

And don’t even get me started on the bloody packaging that this country feels compeled to produce and discard in the name of culinary eye candy. No wonder we’re facing global shortages of oil, given the amount of plastic and plastic covered card we throw away on  a daily basis. Its bloody rediculous. I personal foam at the mouth when I come across a shiny plastic coated cardboard packet, with a plastic inside container with enough space around the actual food inside to have put double in, in the first place! Why not just make the containers smaller FFS!!



  1. Heh!

    I lived and worked in the UK for 3 years (left about a year ago), and I can sooo relate – among other things, food being the kicker – plastic-wrapped apples in box that’s again plastic-wrapped? WTF?! They are APPLES! Put some in the bag, take it to check out and buy them! But noooo… the “fancy” apples get sprayed with bug juice (wax) for shininess and twice-wrapped.

    In any case, good to hear someone let it rip. Thumbs up!

  2. Yep – got that about right! The three most dominant aspects of living in Montenegro as compared to our motherland UK fully support your criticisms of Britain. Working : The Montenegrins are renowned for being lazy, they even joke about it themselves but it’s not really being lazy in my view it’s about having a good attitude to work life balance. My fave local joke (which in it’s full form is a bit of a long one) can be condensed at follows. A fisherman sitting outside a cafe drinking coffee watching the world go by is approached by an EU sponsored business development consultant

    EU knobhead : “Hi what do you for a living”
    Fisherman : “I’m a fisherman”
    EU knobhead : “So why aren’t you out fishing?”
    Fisherman : “I caught a few fish yesterday”
    EU knobhead : “Yes but if you went our fishing today – you’d catch even more fish”
    Fisherman : “Why would I want to do that?”
    EU knobhead : “Well if you caught more fish you’d make more money”
    Fisherman : “Why would I want to do that?”
    EU knobhead : “Well you could buy more equipment get more efficient catch even more fish and one day be able to sit back with your feet up”
    Fisherman : “But that’s what I’m doing now”

    People. Social decay. In many ways society in Montenegro is some 15-20 years behind what we euphemistically refer to as Western Europe (meaning better – not). In the main, there is respect for the older generation, the family is king – it’s not uncommon to find three generations of a family all living on different floors of the same house. People, sometimes total strangers, will find time to help you, petty crime is minimal (because everyone knows everyone else), the list goes on. Now this in itself can create different problems but on balance, having tried both cultures I’d rather be here – even as a foreigner.

    The Nanny state. In my opinion Governance in Montenegro can best be described as a mix of communist era beuracracy and anarchy and we love it! There are rules but in so many instances the only way to conform to the rules is by breaking others. It then comes down to personal choice, what rules do I want to/have to break today? And don’t get me on rules that exist “for your own protection” in “Western Europe”. In my view, developed society is legislating it’s way out of natural selection. If you are dumb arsed enough to attempt fitting a power socket in your home when you don’t know how and electrocute yourself – well tough Bananas – that’s one less idiot in the gene pool in my opnion. I know how to fit a socket, why the fuck should I pay through the nose to have someone come do it for me with the appropriate government enforced certification. You need a licence to do everything these days. Catch a fish, sell stuff, be married, drive a car – but hang on – how about having kids – Oh no you can do that no matter how unqualified. With the worlds population peaking over the 7BN mark isn’t it about time we realised that having kids is possibly the single most serious act of environmental vandalism a person could inflict on this world. But no, earth mother, eco warrior, pro-life types continue to harp on about recycling plastic bags and sustainable living but pop out kids like peas from a pea shooter. It’s people who pollute the planet – so let’s have less of them and give natural selection at better chance of dealing with those who do manage to get here (without a licence). Ok getting a bit off topic here.

    Finally food: We have loved getting back in tune with the seasons. Imported food, especially fruit and veg, is not so easy to come by in Montenegro. It’s often expensive and of poor quality. So we eat what’s in season and sourced locally. OK, I cant have a piece of Melon with my proscutio ham starter on Christmas day but so what? Eating with the seasons is sooo much better – We really look forward to when the raspberries start appearing in the shops or the figs appear on the trees and thoroughly enjoy gorging ourselves while they’re plentiful and cheap.

    So ‘Saul’ methinks you’d fit in well here and if your plans bring you anywhere near the Balkans it’d be great to see you.

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